I've been holding off on blogging, waiting until I have time to write the promised chocolate post (comparing various bars of dark chocolate).
I really will get to that, but for now, I have something more urgent...
Gratitude.
I'm thankful that this evening I got to swim outside and gaze up at the blue sky and watch the clouds form and fade. After the swim, I sat in the sauna and thanked God (the God of Jesus, the God of Mohamed, the God or good or good spirit that inspired Buddha ... whatever you want to call it) for all the good things in my life right now. Thanks that I can just sit here in this space and think "thanks." Thanks for Bear and Buddy and Blue Aroo. Thanks for the upcoming wedding and the dress and the rings... Thanks for the freedom and the means to be able to plan a fantastic honeymoon.
Beyond all that is an even deeper gratitude, one that can't be explained in a single blog post. It's a gratitude that comes from both struggle and privilege, from having looked into the face of evil more than once and flourished in spite of it, from simply being able to be thankful for everyday beauty, for what we call the "little things" (which add up to something bigger than all of us understand, I think).
I know I'm not expressing this as well as I'd like right now, but it's a start. And, as I sat in the sauna tonight with nothing to do but be grateful, I knew this post couldn't wait until I could make it perfect (whatever that means).
Hey - and thanks for reading this!